She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
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