he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
