Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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