Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
