I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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