Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
