You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
This house was built for laser tag.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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