I'm really into asian looking animals
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
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