She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
