hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
