I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
He uses pillows to masturbate.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Randomize
