just come out here and I will go home with you...
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
