I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Randomize
