I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
