wanna go halves on a baby?
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
