i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
