just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
