On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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