I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
