I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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