3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
