worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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