Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Randomize
