i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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