is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
