so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
