evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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