He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
