like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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