She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize