My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
