god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
My day in three words: secret purse cake
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
