I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Randomize
