never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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