Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Fuck appropriateness.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Randomize
