does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize
