I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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