apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
