No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
