Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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