You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Randomize