Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
