Old men and throwing up are my life now.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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