He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
