Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
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