super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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