I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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