well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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