I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
