watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
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