think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
