Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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