Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
