she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
