Where did you get a picture of my penis
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
