just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
