i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
