I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
