Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Are my feet made of real feet?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
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