I hate all girls vehemently.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Randomize
