There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
