The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
