I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
