Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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