Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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